Being a parent can be both extremely rewarding and challenging. As parents we have to manage households, money, jobs, and our children’s lives.
As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I have worked with many parents who feel sad about their lack of connection with their children. In fact, parents will often express confusion about how to be closer to their children.
Affirming their desire for increased connection, I share ideas with them to help deepen the parent-child bond.
Ideas to Help Parents Feel more Connected to their Child:
- Spend time together in mutually enjoyable activities. Spend this time focused on being present to whatever you are doing, putting aside current issues or conflicts.
- Ask questions about hobbies, activities, and interests. Be curious about what they are passionate about; help them identify things they might enjoy.
- Make your expectations/rules clear, keeping them concise.
- If you are having strong feelings about your child’s behavior, lead with your feelings, “I feel angry or sad about”…. and then clearly verbalize what you want from your child in the future. Keep the focus on what you expect from your child moving forward. Maintain a positive attitude when communicating your expectations.
- It is okay to express your feelings in a moderate way, remember to also convey your unconditional love, support, and care.
- Words of affirmation are a necessary part of functional parenting. Try to practice affirming your child daily, stating to them, “you matter, you can state what you need and want, you are more than your grades… you are enough.”
- Remember to seek support and encouragement from friends and family, when you are feeling disconnected from your child. Your child needs your consistent loving presence in their life–even when they are directly or indirectly pushing you away. Remember, you are so important to them!
